


She's the reason

by faylibop



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-17 07:37:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21050705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faylibop/pseuds/faylibop
Summary: Levi and Nico's relationship is thrown for a loop when his best friend becomes terminally ill. All Nico wants to do is be there for Levi, but Levi can't accept it let alone talk about it. His dying friend's last wish could be something that tears them apart but it's something Levi has to do with or without Nico. This has an original OC as a main character and will eventually be rated mature for many reasons.





	1. In which we meet Moira

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys please bear with me as this is my first fic in years. After the introduction you guys will get to know why Levi became a doctor, his childhood stories, one of the debate club kids he played D&D with. And Nico and Levi will have a discussion that Nico is not ready for.

“Moira…” Levi choked out, squeezing the hand of a very sickly looking woman. “Don’t talk like that, it isn’t fair.”

She reached out and stroked his face, smiling at the small beard he’d grown in the week he’d been by her side night and day. “Levi Elijah Schmitt. You are the best friend I’ve ever had. Please just promise me you’ll do it.”

He leaned into her hand, tears flowing down. “I promise. But you still have to come out of this alive, understood?”

She nodded, and beckoned to the intern who was waiting to take her to surgery. Levi let his face fall into his hands and he began to sob in earnest. He didn’t even notice when Nico came into the room until his boyfriend was knelt in front of him, wrapping his arms around him. No words were spoken between them, but Levi leaned into the embrace and let everything out.

\--- 9 days earlier---

Levi was in the resident’s lounge getting ready to head out with his boyfriend for the night when his phone went off. He expected it to be his mother, or a text from Nico saying he was running behind. Instead he saw a name he hadn’t talked to in months. A twinge of guilt went through him as he realized how long it had been since he even texted his closest friend. He answered sheepishly, starting out with an apology but stopping mid sentence. 5 minutes later he was texting Nico that a family emergency came up and he was sorry, then he ran out of the hospital hoping his uber would be quick.  
\--

The next morning Levi asked Taryn to cover his shift as he asked for a temporary leave from the chief. She was surprisingly understanding but still made him cover his own shifts that week. His friends were pretty accommodating considering he didn’t give a lot of detail. He brushed his teeth as he thought of the conversation he was going to have with Nico later before checking his phone for the first time since she called.

Mom: Levi, Abraham called me. I know you’re probably there already please call if you need anything.

Abraham: Thank you for being there with her. She couldn’t have anyone better in her life.

Nico: Okay babe… do you need anything? Can I help at all?

Nico: I’m heading to bed but my ringer is on. I’m here if you need anything.

Nico: Morning babe, I love you. I hope you’re okay.

He sighed. Nico was so good to him. But right now he couldn’t focus on his own needs. He walked out of the bathroom to see his best friend still asleep, sitting up in a chair with her wig off. Her skin was paler than he’d ever seen it, and even with her eyes closed he could remember how hollow they were last night. Levi felt anger coursing through him. While last night he had been nothing but understanding with her, this morning the rest of his feelings were closer to the surface. He grabbed her clothes out of the closet and came back to her.

“MOIRA! You need to get up we have places to be.”

The woman opened her eyes weekly and groaned. She took a minute before sitting up and her voice was exasperated. “Levi there’s nothing left for me to do but stay here and die. I don’t know what you’re in a hurry for.”

“You’re getting dressed. We are going to the hospital. I need you to get another opinion.” He sounded desperate, he could hear it in himself. “If you had come to me when the tremors started you might not be this bad. I know people now you know, people who are the best in their fields and leading the way in medical advancements.”

Moira’s brown eyes stared into his hazel ones. She was exhausted and ready to pass on. But he was right, she could have called him 5 months ago. Before the chemo failed. Before her doctor told her to settle her affairs. Before it was time to say good bye. She resigned herself to understanding she needed to help him grieve and raised her arms in defeat so he help her change.

They made their way to Grey Sloan in silence and he pushed her in a wheel chair to the exam room Drs Lincoln and Shepherd were meeting them in. He put her scans out and waited. 

“Levi!” Link called out, happy to see his favorite resident. “Who’s your lovely friend?”

Amelia smiled from behind him, loving her boyfriend’s personality. She began to look over the scans while Levi and Link talked.

“Dr Lincoln, this is my oldest friend Moira. She’s been suffering from an extramedullary tumor on her spine since she was 12. It’s positioned to where every doctor she has seen has deemed it inoperable. They removed part of it at 19 and again at 24 and treated with radiation but it’s continued to grow. 5 months ago it doubled in size and Moira became symptomatic. She has been on extreme chemotherapy until last week when her doctor decided it would be best to just make her comfortable. I disagree, and with the stem cell trials you’ve completed I see a chance to remove it and possibly restore any mobility she loses.”

Link nodded at Levi and took the scans from Amelia who looked at Levi with sympathy. “Levi there’s a reason her doctors wouldn’t operate. But I do see a small chance to remove it or at least get 90% which could give her a few more years… Moira, what do you want here?”

Moira grabbed Levi’s hand and squeezed it as much as she could. “Levi says you’re the best and if he would trust my life to you I can too.”

Link and Amelia nodded. “Alright Moira, Levi. We’ll try this. I’ll send an intern in to get you admitted and get some scans for us. But Levi, you are not on this case at all. When we do this surgery you will be in the family waiting room understood?”

Levi looked Link in the eyes. “I understand, but I also want to request you don’t put Nico on this one at all.” The pain in his eyes as he asked that was easily visible, and all Link could do was nod before following Amelia out of the room.

\----- Next day---

“Hey Link, I see you have a huge spinal surgery with Shepherd. Let me scrub in, I need something to distract me while Levi’s dealing with his family thing. He hasn’t even texted me once. I’m going through hell here.” 

Nico looked like he’d been struggling to sleep and Link felt bad for him. He guided Nico across the ward to stand at the nurses station and not be seen as he pointed to the room Levi and Moira were in. Moira was sleeping and Levi was still holding her hand as he cried silently. Before Nico could take off Link held him back. 

“Nico, he’ll come to you when he’s ready. He’s requested you not be on this case and Amelia and I both see it’s because he doesn’t want to resent you when she dies. Because chances are she will die. We’re doing this surgery for him. We all care about him and want to help here.” Nico swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded. “Listen man, in about 20 minutes we’re going to round on her. You can sit outside the door if you want.


	2. In which Nico takes a leap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico just wants to help.

Nico sat in the entry way of the room next to Moira and Levi as the interns presented. He only remembered Levi mentioning Moira twice, showing him pictures at his mom’s house and a text to her on Hanukkah. She was described as like his sister and being there for everything important growing up but never as sick or dying. So when the intern started her medical history and got the age wrong and Levi almost sobbed out the correction Nico was shook. They’d been together a year and he thought they knew each other well at this stage but this was a part of Levi that was never shared with him. He stayed where he was as the rounds finished and listened to the conversation his boyfriend was having.

“You’ve been up for 2 days straight, why don’t you go get a shower and some coffee?” She sounded tired but kind. “You can bring that gorgeous doctor you’ve been seeing to meet me!” 

She was met with a long sigh. “I’m fine. And Nico’s a top end surgeon, he doesn’t have time to come watch me fall apart.” Nico imagined the look on the woman’s face because it didn’t take long for Levi to start talking again. “Okay maybe he does. But this isn’t a way I want him to see me Moi. He’s had a rough go of it lately and likes that I’m always upbeat and compassionate, I don’t want him to lose that. And I’m not ready to share this.”

Nico closed his eyes and shook his head. He knew Levi needed him and space and didn’t know what to do.

\---

When he got off work he barely thought as he drove to Levi’s house. He barely knocked on the door when Myrna answered with a sad smile and invited him in. She already had coffee brewing and they sat in silence while she poured them some and offered him a photo album.

“When Levi was 7 his father left us. He would hide away at Synagogue, and not talk to anyone at school. Two months later he found Moira hiding too. She’d just lost her mother and couldn’t face anyone. Her father had been trying to make things normal for her and couldn’t. Levi hid with her and let her cry like he’d been doing for months. They became instantly inseparable. I suppose it was no surprise when they ran away on Hanukkah. Family gatherings weren’t the first thing they wanted while they suffered through their losses.

Abraham, Moira’s father, and I found them at their school playground. The only thing we could do to get them to come home was promise holidays together after that, since they were family. We’ve still done that every year as they’ve grown up. We’ve become a family. When Moira had a seizure in 7th grade Levi stayed at the hospital every day. Her tumor is why he became a doctor you know? He doesn’t believe anything should be inoperable.”

She reached out for Nico’s hand and he surprised himself in grabbing hers and squeezing. “Mrs. Schmitt, he doesn’t want to see me yet, but I was hoping maybe I could bring him some of his clothes and maybe one of his favorite meals? I want him to know he’s not alone.”

“Of course, Nico. I’m so glad you’re looking out for him.”

\-----

The next morning Levi was asleep in the chair next to Moira when Nico walked in quietly. Moira was awake and she smiled as he brought in his car package and coffee. He put his finger to his lips and set everything down before smiling at Moira and leaving the room.

\---

Later during Moira’s ct scans Levi grabbed a shower and a change and sought Nico out. He didn’t have the words when he found him in the fellows lounge so he just ran into Nico’s waiting embrace.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to talk to you. Thank you, for still taking care of me while I’m absolutely useless.” He buried his head against Nico’s chest and inhaled the intoxicating scent of his boyfriend.

Nico’s fingers raked through Levi’s hair, before lifting his chin. “Pain isn’t quantifiable you know. I may not know exactly what you’re going through but I know I can do my best to give you what you need. If you want space I’ll give it to you, but if you want me to meet Moira and be with you while you go through this I can be.”

Levi pulled away and rubbed his eyes, willing away the tears. He looked at Nico with such adoration and sat down to talk, his love following him to the couch. “I feel so guilty. I used to go to every appointment, be in every chemo session. We didn’t have other friends with her being so sick and me being so me. And when I decided I wanted to be a doctor I had a medical textbook with me everywhere I went trying to prepare myself. She didn’t bother me when she got really sick this time because she didn’t want to take away me finally being happy. She went through this alone.” Tears glistened in his eyes as he avoided looking anywhere but the ceiling.

“So this is your punishment for yourself? Putting everything and everyone aside to get her a risky procedure that you suffer through with her with no support? I can’t think that’s what she wanted by keeping you away. You’re still her family.” He moved closer, wrapping the smaller man in his arms.

“She also may be mad she wasn’t the first person I told I was gay.”

Even though they were both sad, they laughed.

\----  
Later that day Nico knocked on Moira’s door, coffee in hand and waited until Levi beckoned him in. Moira was just waking up and pulled a blanket over her head at the lights being switched back on. Taryn, Casey and Dahlia followed Nico in, all hugging their friend affectionately.

“Thanks for coming guys. And for covering my shifts. I want you to meet someone special to me.”

As Levi introduced his new friends to his only real friend of his past he couldn’t help but smile at bringing the two worlds together. They quickly found common ground and laughed at the stories she told from growing up together. Levi looked to the man who brought them all together and reached out his hand toward him. Nico took it and pulled him close enough to wrap him up in his arms. For the first time in a long time, Levi’s family felt complete.


	3. When  it all falls down

The next 2 days were much the same, Levi stayed with Moira and they would receive visits from Nico and the B team. They took turns bringing them non hospital food and coffee, and when the interns would take Moira to scans Levi would seek out his boyfriend. Nico could see the struggle that Levi was keeping inside; he was happy and having fun bringing his best friend into the life he’d made for himself here. But he was also still denying how hopeless the surgery was going to be. No one was willing to broach the conversation with him either. 

Levi was with Nico in the fellow’s lounge when he got paged. He was still on leave so they both knew what it was going to be. They ran to the radiology lab to meet an anxious looking Amelia and Link waiting for them. Moira’s latest scans were up and it only took a glance to see the tumor had grown. Amelia approached Levi and placed her hand on his arm.

“We’re going to take her in immediately, Schmitt.” She said sympathetically. “You should go talk to her before I send the intern to prep her.”

\--------

“So they’re going to take you in a bit early, rather than let it get any bigger. But its ok. Shepherd and Link are amazing surgeons. They’re going to take the best care of you.”

She nodded, pursing her lips just a little. “I see. Wait to tell my dad until you know, okay? I don’t want to give him false hope.”

Levi sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. “That’s ridiculous Moira. I should have him come wait.”

“It’s not fair to him! He’s been through enough don’t you think?”

They sat in silence for a minute. 

“I like him, you know? Nico. He’s been amazing for you and I’m glad.” Levi nodded, still too upset to talk. “Look, I don’t know where you two are going so I’m sorry if this is way off base. But if I die… They froze my eggs ages ago before the chemo, in case I wanted kids. I put in my will that I wanted you to have them. In case you two decide to go there.”  
Levi let out a frustrated noise and buried his head in his hands.  
“Stop being stupid Moira, that’s for you when you’re ready.” She laughed at him and threw her pillow to him. He didn’t bother catching it, knowing it would make her feel better to win. 

They locked eyes and it they had an entire conversation without talking. Moira’s hand reached toward Levi, and he reached to her and pulled their hands to his face. “Just promise me, Levi. That you will be happy. That you will move on.”

“Moira…” Levi choked out, squeezing the hand of a very sickly looking woman. “Don’t talk like that, it isn’t fair.”

She reached out and stroked his face, smiling at the small beard he’d grown in the week he’d been by her side night and day. “Levi Elijah Schmitt. You are the best friend I’ve ever had. Please just promise me you’ll do it.”

He leaned into her hand, tears flowing down. “I promise. But you still have to come out of this alive, understood?”

She nodded, and beckoned to the intern who was waiting to take her to surgery. Levi let his face fall into his hands and he began to sob in earnest. He didn’t even notice when Nico came into the room until his boyfriend was knelt in front of him, wrapping his arms around him. No words were spoken between them, but Levi leaned into the embrace and let everything out.  
\--------

Bailey didn’t bat an eye at Nico when he asked to have the rest of the day off. He was surprised when she told him to take care of Schmitt. He remembered when Link told him Schmitt was her favorite intern turned resident and thanked her profusely. They waited in the family area wordlessly. Levi stayed leaned into Nico’s chest and silently cried while getting his hair stroked. Nico had called Myrna to let her know what was happening and she was watching from the hallway as her son suffered silently.  
\---

“I’m not sure we can get this.”

Link looked at Amelia, her eyes so unsure as she looked at the tumor for the first time without a scan.

“We have to try. Schmitt knows this is futile, but we said we’d do what we could. We need to do everything.”

\-------

Levi stood, leaving Nico’s warmth to start pacing. Two hours into the surgery he was antsy. While he knew the odds he couldn’t be a doctor here. Nico watched him helplessly, locking eyes with Myrna in the hallway. She gave him a sad smile and returned to watching her child.

“I don’t know, Nico. I don’t know how parents deal with this.” Levi stopped and pulled his hair in frustration. “She’s my best friend. Like a sister. And I’m absolutely crazy with worry. She won’t even let her dad know about this because of how much he’s already gone through. I don’t even know what to do anymore.”

He was met with silence as Nico chewed his lip, contemplating a response. “They do it because of love, Levi. When you have a kid you love someone more than yourself. I don’t think it even occurs to you to think of anything else because your heart is on that table.”

“That’s my point! Logically I know there’s a whole lot more happening here. You shouldn’t be here. You have patients. Link is doing surgery so you should be on call to fix ortho problems. I know that. But you’re here because of how you feel about me. And she’s nothing to you. How is that in any way, shape or form supposed to make sense. Because it doesn’t to me!” Levi threw the vase of fake flowers next to him. 

Myrna looked on in sadness, knowing she wasn’t the one who could help him right now. She sighed and went to get coffee for the three of them, praying she was right about Nico and he would know what to say right now.

Nico stood up, engulfing the smaller man in his arms.

“Levi. LEVI. Listen to me for a second.” He guided his boyfriend into a chair and kneeled in front of him again. “Look, I have no doubt one day you’re going to be an amazing dad and understand what it’s like to think from a parent’s point of view. Right now just please, please sit down and wait. People who care about you are taking care of her. I can’t say that she’s going to be alright. I’m not going to give you empty platitudes. But please trust the people who care about us to put Moira first.”

Levi placed his forehead against Nico’s and focused on catching his breath. Nico wrapped his arms fully around the smaller man and stroked his back.

“Do you remember the day I said I love you?” Levi looked at Nico with a hint of vulnerability. Nico nodded. “I was kicked off that surgery and Bailey and I had a patient. He was gay and they had a daughter. They both gave sperm and didn’t want to know who was her biological parent because they loved her. Until my patient had an extreme blood clot syndrome. 

Then they tested her to find out. And I saw them, their reactions and when she told them who was her bio dad but she didn’t care because they were both her dad.  
And as I sat there watching them I thought, HEY! I want that too. And yeah, it was the first time I thought about kids and I was thinking that I wanted it with you. But…. Living this. Feeling this pain. I don’t know any more. I don’t know if I want to feel that again.”


End file.
